Home Build ? Week 7 ? Keith and Kinseys Real Estate Update …

Home Build ? Week?7

Last weekend we got to do a little work on the house ourselves. We ran some speaker wires for surround sound and cat5 cables for data. Thanks to the guys at Isthmus electric for being flexible with my requests for audio, video, and data provisions! They ran tubing so we can pull cables between the TV, DVR and receiver?later. They also ran HDMI cables in the wall, and prepped our office for a wall mounted?monitor/TV. Isthmus even set things up so we could install a heater in the garage and run a compressor or welder circuit later.

Also near the end of last week we signed off on having our lender?release money to the builder for partial construction. Since we are carrying our own construction financing, the bank splits up payments to the builder based on the phase of construction. The lender sends out an inspector to ensure that construction has been completed to the extent that they?d expect for the amount of money that they will release.

Mid week the walls were insulated and all the penetrations got filled with foam (houses are so much better insulated these days than they use to be). Late this week the driveway was poured and siding and drywall began.

In addition to all the excitement listed above, we had our first three change orders. This means that we asked for some changes from the original plans and specs. So, the builder had to add to his fees. Our changes were; countertop edging, a gas line to the garage, and a wider than standard driveway. None of these were absolutely necessary, but we?ve been pinching pennies thus far and we decided to spring for a few more wants rather than wish we had later. No more changes though, hold us to it!

sealed holes between floors (this wouldn?t have been done just a few years ago).

Insulation completed, drywall starting.

siding in progress

Day 49 ? 71 days and counting.

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long term relationships – how to deal w them – Love and Dating



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thankyoubutno
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: Jan 31, 2008
Posts: 4
Location: NY

PostPosted: Sat May 19, 2012 7:03 pm?? ?Post subject: long term relationships – how to deal w them Reply with quote

this is a bit long, i know, but bare with me.

i have a spectrum disorder/aspergers. i’ve been dating my boyfriend for over 4 years. we’ve recently been having a really hard time. he’s really sarcastic and it comes off as mean to me a lot, but he doesn’t mean it always. and then since i think he’s being serious, i get upset. and i’m a little bit over emotional because of different stuff in my life (not just this relationship stuff), so i’m taking things very personally and just break down.

i don’t know if we’re having a hard time because of our circumstances (broke and living in his parents basement, who are not very nice people and not very welcoming to us or me in particular) and that it’s just straining our relationship…?

or because there’s actually something wrong. i’m paranoid that he doesn’t like me anymore.

i also caught him in a pretty huge huge lie that hurt me tremendously, so there’s some serious trust issues on top of everything.

i just can’t tell what’s going on because although he’s not on the spectrum, he’s not good at communicating his feelings towards people – affection especially, which makes it confusing for me because i don’t know how he’s feeling.

is this…. “normal” ???
how do other people deal with non-aspie significant others?
is it worth trying to work this out?

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blueroses
radioactive
Phoenix

Joined: Feb 11, 2007
Age: 29
Posts: 1260
Location: Lancaster, PA

PostPosted: Sat May 19, 2012 7:18 pm?? ?Post subject: Reply with quote

It’s pretty commonplace for people to experience those types of problems in relationships, so I guess you could say that it’s normal in that sense. But, I think it’s not really as important to worry about whether or not a relationship is normal as much as it’s important to worry about whether or not it’s healthy. And, if he’s hurting you and you cannot trust him, those don’t sound like healthy dynamics.

If you care about him, it might be worth trying to work out. The thing is, though, that both of you need to be willing to work on it. Have you talked with him about how you feel?

Also, you mentioned he lied to you and that there are trust issues as a result. Do you feel comfortable sharing what he lied to you about?

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BlueMax
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

Joined: Aug 28, 2007
Posts: 460

PostPosted: Sat May 19, 2012 7:24 pm?? ?Post subject: Reply with quote

Hard to say what “normal” is, Aspie or not! Still – it doesn’t sounds like a good situation and you’re certainly not happy with it!

Have you been able to talk to him about all this – tell him your thoughts and feelings on the subject and what you might like in order to change them? Was he at all receptive or barely conscious?

If you want something better and he’s completely unwilling to go there as a couple…. well… you have a difficult, crappy choice. Stay and make the best of it, or move on to something else on your own. (I’m sure other options exist that I’m simply unaware of.) Wink

Best wishes – I hope things improve. I can’t stress enough how important FULL COMMUNICATION really is!

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OddFiction
Phoenix
Phoenix

Joined: Aug 10, 2010
Posts: 896
Location: In my favourite chair, in front of my laptop, and watching a movie I’ve seen 1000 times, Canada.

PostPosted: Sat May 19, 2012 7:58 pm?? ?Post subject: Reply with quote

1. Sarcasm / Joking: Sit him down and drill it into his mind that you have issues understanding his tone and aren’t always sure about his statements. Suggest that you aren’t asking him to stop using sarcasm (etc) – you don’t want to change him any – but you need more obvious indicators. Suggest that when he jokes, it might be good to pull his earlobe (or whatever you guys agreee on) and YOU will tug YOUR earlobe if you are in a position where you need to know if he’s joking, and don’t want to ask outright…. he can tug his in response if he’s joking, or shake his head if you need to take him serious.

2. BIG LIES are dangerous. Depending on the severity and the importance of what he lied about, and if it was an outright lie or just something he failed to mention (which can be lesser or greater importance than the first, depending) … anyhow… that’s so,mething you’ll eityher have to detail for us or figure out sseverity on your own.

3. Yeah. when the parents are iffy about you and you live in thier house… that IS a stress on the relationship. Make sure you up the number of things you guys do TOGETHER, and AWAY from the parents. Bond.

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Bloodheart
Phoenix
Phoenix

Joined: Jan 18, 2011
Age: 29
Posts: 1756
Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, UK

PostPosted: Sat May 19, 2012 8:16 pm?? ?Post subject: Reply with quote

Sounds like you’re in a similar situation to mine;
I’m AS and I believe my partner has ADD – we’ve been together 4 years and 4 months.

I’m unemployed and he works, we can’t afford to live together but I live in a horrible local authority flat and my boyfriend lives with his father who is a vile human being thus my boyfriend has developed OCD. We’re both struggling financially, as I’m unemployed I’m obviously under stress and he’s under stress due to his financial obligations, as he works it means we’re not equals in the relationship. My boyfriends ADD behaviour triggers off my problems; e.g. he drums on things and the vibrations trigger off my sensory issues, in turn making me highly strung, he then gets annoyed that I’m so highly strung…or worse I spend all day getting wound-up ending in my being annoyed or having a meltdown (it’s gotten to the point that I needed to go on antidepressants to ease my anxiety). My boyfriend is paranoid about other men, a while ago I discovered he’d been reading my IM’s, so we have trust issues too.

All I can say is that your situation is perhaps not unusual – for any relationship – you’re being on the spectrum can add more problems, however it’s not necessarily the main problem you should be focusing on. Chances are you are like me; you’re more emotional because your current stressful situation is making your problems worse and you maybe feel trapped by your current situation. Maybe you’re only trying to save this relationship because you feel you have no options being without a home, maybe if it’s possible you should try to get away for a while to re-adjust yourself and take a break from your partner just for the sake of your own sanity.

You need to find a way of explaining that to your partner, it is easier said than done as I myself am struggling to make my issues clear with my partner and the stress of our situation is just making matters worse. Perhaps try writing things down to try to explain to him or show him this thread if you’re feeling especially brave, try to avoid blame but explain to him what the problems are and that you want to work them out – maybe leave this with him while you go for a walk to calm down before going home to talk. The issue of the lie however…it depends how big a lie and if it’s a deal breaker for you – only YOU can decide if it’s worth trying to save this relationship.
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Bloodheart

Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.

Last edited by Bloodheart on Sat May 19, 2012 8:27 pm; edited 2 times in total

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JanuaryMan
Phoenix
Phoenix

Joined: Jan 02, 2012
Age: 27
Posts: 530
Location: Southampton, UK

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thankyoubutno
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: Jan 31, 2008
Posts: 4
Location: NY

PostPosted: Sat May 19, 2012 9:17 pm?? ?Post subject: Reply with quote

whew. first off, thanks. i’m not really able to talk about any of this with anyone (besides my boyfriend, of course. which i try to do).

he does know i’m having a “problem” with our relationship. he pretty much knows all the details on i think everything because i had a huge meltdown yesterday and i was actually able to speak and articulate my self more than i usual can. and he is actually very receptive. he might not understand what i go through or relate to how my mind works, but he really does try. the problem is when he gets frustrated by it. and i think a lot of our problems stem from bad communication – my issues (obvious reasons + a bit of stubbornness) and like i said, he doesn’t like to talk about feelings much and is also just as stubborn if not more so than i am. so we end up butting heads. and it ends with a meltdown and a fight and then being able to go through it and talk about it and get some sort of closure.

but then, i’m always left wondering after them…

i guess i have trust issues. but not just with him so i don’t know if that means anything.

i guess i just need to decide if i want this to work or not….. and i think i do want it to work. but i want us to be happy! i think our situation sucks so much (very similar to yours, Bloodheart). we think we’ve found a situation with some friends and we’ll be able to move, but it’s still up in the air.

but also, for me, and i don’t know if this is a spectrum thing or not, – i’m not really sure what “love” is all about. i know i love my mom and my dad and other close family, and my old cat (haha), but… i know i like him. i know i like being near him, doing things with him, sleeping next to him, kissing him, etc. etc. and it’s really hard to picture a future without him in it. so i guess i love him? it’s just so hard to say though.

now i’m rambling. this should probably have gone in the “emotionally unstable” category instead of relationships! Rolling Eyes

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Pinkbubble
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: May 16, 2012
Age: 33
Posts: 3
Location: New york

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Dems shift tactics, pound Wis. governor on probe

FILE – Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker speaks to the Illinois Chamber of Commerce in this April 17, 2012 file photo taken in Springfield, Ill. Lost in the hoopla over the effort to recall Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker after he took on union rights is an ongoing secret investigation that has already ensnared a handful of the Republican governor’s former aides. Democrats have started playing up questions about why Walker created a criminal defense fund for himself and whether the governor might face charges next. (AP Photo/Seth Perlman, File)

FILE – Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker speaks to the Illinois Chamber of Commerce in this April 17, 2012 file photo taken in Springfield, Ill. Lost in the hoopla over the effort to recall Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker after he took on union rights is an ongoing secret investigation that has already ensnared a handful of the Republican governor’s former aides. Democrats have started playing up questions about why Walker created a criminal defense fund for himself and whether the governor might face charges next. (AP Photo/Seth Perlman, File)

FILE – In this May 8, 2012 file photo, Wisconsin Democratic gubernatorial candidate Tom Barrett speaks at his primary election victory party in Milwaukee. Lost in the hoopla over the effort to recall Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker after he took on union rights is an ongoing secret investigation that has already ensnared a handful of the Republican governor?s former aides. The investigation by Milwaukee County?s district attorney hasn?t resonated with voters, but with the June 5 recall less than three weeks away Democrats have started playing up questions about why Walker created a criminal defense fund for himself and whether the governor might face charges next.. (AP Photo/Morry Gash, File)

(AP) ? Lost in the hoopla over the effort to recall Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker after he took on union rights is an ongoing secret investigation that has already ensnared a handful of the Republican governor’s former aides.

The investigation by Milwaukee County’s district attorney hasn’t resonated with voters, but with the June 5 recall less than three weeks away Democrats have started playing up questions about why Walker created a criminal defense fund for himself and whether the governor might face charges next.

Walker has branded the strategy a “cheap political stunt,” but Democrats are banking that the tactic will help them curry favor with the dwindling pool of undecided voters who could turn the election.

“The public deserves some answers as they try to decide who to vote for,” said Jeremy Levinson, an attorney for the state Democratic Party. “He just needs to explain what’s going on. It’s that simple.”

Republicans say Democrats are grasping for an edge as polls show Walker pulling ahead of Milwaukee Mayor Tom Barrett. The most recent Marquette University Law School poll, released Wednesday, showed Walker leading by 6 percentage points after the race was essentially a dead heat a month ago.

“When you’re down or your message isn’t playing the way you want it to in a tight race, you’ve got to find something else,” said Brandon Scholz, a Madison lobbyist who has worked on a number of GOP congressional races across the country. “You’ve got to change that message and find something that sticks.”

The push to recall Walker began last year after he championed a contentious law stripping most public sector workers of nearly all their collective bargaining rights. Democrats called it an all-out attack on organized labor, but Barrett’s easy primary victory over an opponent backed by most of the state’s major unions signaled the momentum for the collective bargaining argument may have started to fade.

Barrett moved on to beating up Walker over his inability to create jobs, harping on a U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics report that found Wisconsin lost the most jobs of any state between March 2011 and March 2012.

Meanwhile, Milwaukee County District Attorney John Chisholm has been quietly investigating Walker’s associates during the governor’s tenure as Milwaukee County executive. Chisholm, a Democrat, has set the probe up as a so-called John Doe proceeding, meaning his prosecutors can subpoena witnesses and compel them to testify while barring them from speaking publicly about the case. Five people have been charged so far on allegations ranging from embezzling money from a veterans trust fund to campaigning on county time.

Walker has insisted he’s not a target, saying he learned honesty as an Eagle Scout and his county office even alerted Chisholm to the embezzlement.

Nobody has given any indication when the investigation might end or who else it might ensnare. Walker’s state spokesman, Cullen Werwie, has testified in exchange for immunity that the governor disclosed he had created a legal defense fund using campaign contributions. Wisconsin law allows officeholders to create such funds only if they or their agents are being investigated or have been charged with campaign or election violations.

Walker has said he formed the fund to cover “expenses incurred in cooperating with the inquiry,” but he hasn’t elaborated on the probe.

Barrett, who has been jabbing the governor on the investigation for weeks, said Wednesday that Walker needs to clear the air because “when people realize what’s going on, they’re troubled by it.”

Still, the issue hasn’t seemed to have gripped voters. Marquette polls conducted since February have consistently shown most people either regard the investigation as politics as usual or don’t know enough about it to form an opinion about whether it’s truly serious.

“Either he’s being investigated or he expects to be charged,” said Sachin Chheda, who chairs the Milwaukee Democratic Party. “What kind of position would the state be in if we don’t know the facts, there’s an election and there’s an indictment after the election?”

Dick Frasser, a 74-year-old retired fire inspector from Watertown, said he plans to vote for the governor in the recall, despite the investigation.

“It’s typical politics,” Frasser said. “Ethically and morally, I suppose he does (need to explain his part in the probe). But they should do this after the election. Prior to it, they’re digging up all the dirt they can.”

The liberal attack group Greater Wisconsin Committee launched a television ad last week questioning how Walker didn’t know what his county employees were doing, and Barrett sent Walker a letter Tuesday demanding he disclose any advice state election officials may have given him that led to him forming his defense fund.

Walker campaign manager Ciara Matthews said in a statement that Barrett is resorting to political stunts to deflect voters’ attention from high unemployment in Milwaukee and his refusal to explain how he would manage the state budget. She didn’t address the investigation itself.

Asked Wednesday whether the governor was under investigation, Matthews responded by pointing to remarks Walker has made to the media since January saying people are twisting things, he’s not the target of the investigation and he agreed to meet with Chisholm to discuss the investigation.

Scholz, the former Republican operative, said Walker has nothing to gain by responding directly to Barrett. Democrats have run out of issues and are merely trying to put Walker’s camp on defense, he said.

“When you’re down or your message isn’t playing the way you want it to in a tight race, you’ve got to find something else,” Scholz said. “You’ve got to scratch for an issue. A John Doe is sexy. They’ll just throw it out there. If they can force the other side to lose a half-day, that’s what they’ll do.”

___

Associated Press writer Scott Bauer in Madison contributed to this report.

Associated Press

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Joran Van der Sloot to fight extradition to US

Joran Van der Sloot is alleged to have played a role in the disappearance of American Natalie Holloway on Aruba seven years ago. Joran Van der Sloot is currently in a Peruvian prison after confessing to killing a Lima woman in 2010.

Confessed murderer Joran Van?der?Sloot told a judge on Tuesday that he will fight extradition from Peru to the United States, where he faces extortion and wire fraud charges in connection with the disappearance of American Natalee Holloway, his lawyer said.

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Van?der?Sloot remains the prime suspect in the unsolved 2005 disappearance of Holloway in Aruba. He faces an indictment in the U.S. for allegedly accepting $25,000 in early 2010 in exchange for an unfulfilled promise to lead her mother’s lawyer to the body.

Judge Zenaida Vilca informed Van?der?Sloot of the U.S. extradition request during a closed door meeting at Piedras Gordas prison just north of Lima. The 24-year-old Dutchman told the judge he would fight extradition, his lawyer, Maximo Altez, said.

RELATED: Think you know Latin America? Take our geography quiz

If he stays put, Van?der?Sloot could be released on parole after serving a third of his 28-year sentence for killing a Lima woman he met at a casino in May 2010, said Altez.

But if he were convicted in the U.S. he likely wouldn’t qualify for early parole in Peru. Under the U.S.-Peru extradition treaty he would be returned to Peru to finish out his sentence. Then, if he were convicted in the U.S., he would be sent there serve the second sentence.

“It’s not good for us if Van?der?Sloot goes to the United States because everyone hates him there and the members of the jury will thus be biased,” said Altez. “We will defend ourselves with all the legal remedies possible.”

Reporters were able to see Van?der?Sloot, from about 75 feet (25 meters), enter a room for the hearing, which was also attended by representatives of the U.S. and Dutch embassies.

The Dutchman smiled at the agents who accompanied him but did not respond to calls from the news media.

If Peru’s Supreme Court approves the extradition request it will then need to be approved by the country’s council of ministers.

Van?der?Sloot was sentenced in January after confessing to beating and strangling 21-year-old Stephany Flores in his Lima hotel room five years to the day after Holloway disappeared on Aruba, the Dutch dependency where he grew up.

RELATED: Think you know Latin America? Take our geography quiz

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Samsung Game Hub, Video Hub hands-on (video)

Image

Sad that Samsung’s rumored S-Cloud didn’t appear on the scene? Well the arrival of the company’s new Video, Game and Music hubs might heal the wounds. Rather than a unified service, the Galaxy S III will have access to three separate stores that will offer an alternative to Google Play. We spent a few minutes having a play, and you can see what it’s like after the break.

Continue reading Samsung Game Hub, Video Hub hands-on (video)

Samsung Game Hub, Video Hub hands-on (video) originally appeared on Engadget on Thu, 03 May 2012 17:36:00 EDT. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Amazon tablet update brings parental controls, lets kids play with Fire

So you’ve got yourself Kindle Fire and a house full of young, impressionable children. What to do? Have no fear, update 6.3.1 is on its way, bringing with it parental controls like password protection for purchases, content disabling in the library and the ability to block access to the device’s Silk browser. The world will be a safer place once the update starts rolling out over the air in the next few days.

Amazon tablet update brings parental controls, lets kids play with Fire originally appeared on Engadget on Thu, 03 May 2012 16:09:00 EDT. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Selena Gomez: ‘Aftershock’ Star Eli Roth Is ‘Very Smart’

Selena Gomez may be getting her scream queen on in Eli Roth?s next flick, ?Aftershock.? The details of her appearance are still pretty much a big secret, but MTV News had the pleasure of catching up with the singer/actress/perfume designer and learned more about what fans (and maybe even skeptics) can expect from her cameo [...]

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ShopAndroid Daily Giveaway #63: Leather Pouch for Galaxy Tab 10.1, Droid RAZR Trident Aegis Series & more

Today's ShopAndroid.com Daily Giveaway will feature the Samsung Leather Pouch for Galaxy Tab 10.1, Trident Aegis Series for Motorola Droid RAZR, Qmadix Snap-On Cover w/ Holster for LG Spectrum, and the Smartphone Experts Top Pouch.

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Samsung Leather Pouch for Galaxy Tab 10.1

The Samsung Leather Pouch is made of soft leather which protects your Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1 against bumps and scratches. With its slim design, this leather pouch fits easily in luggage, a briefcase, or in your favorite bag. Secure your investment, accessorize your Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1 with the Samsung Protective Leather Pouch.

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